Woo woo! Dress blues with a sword!
*jumps on table* but if you close your eyes *thrOWS VASE AT WALL* DOES IT ALMOST FEEL LIKE *SPLITS TABLE IN HALF AND FALLS TO GROUND* NOTHING CHANGED AT ALL *LEAPS OUT WINDOW* AND IF YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES *ROLLS ONTO GROUND* DOES IT ALMOST FEEL LIKE *JUMPS UP AND RUNS DOWN THE STREET* YOU’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE *BOMB EXPLODES AND BUILDING CRASHES DOWN* HOW AM I GONNA BE AN OPTIMIST ABOUT THIS *HELICOPTER FALLS TO GROUND AND BLOWS UP* HOW AM I GONNA BE AN OPTIMIST ABOUT THIS
Rae: “I just can’t eat in front of people.”
Stacey: “Why not?”
Rae: “Well, because, if I eat unhealthy food, then people will think ‘Oh, look at that fat cow. No wonder she got to that size,’ and if I eat healthy food, then they think ‘Well, who’re you trying to kid, love? You didn’t get to that size by eating salads.’”The fat experience in a nutshell. Bloody hell, My Mad Fat Diary is brilliant.
I once had a nurse practitioner say the exact same thing as the last gif.
Here’s a test:
I’m holding a baby in one hand and a petri dish holding a fetus in the other.
I’m going to drop one. You chose which.
If you really truly believe a fetus is the same thing as a baby, it should be impossible for you to decide. You should have to flip a coin, that’s how impossible the decision should be.
Shot in the dark, you saved the baby.
Because you’re aware there’s a difference.
Now admit it
What do you call a dead text post?
any of yours
A text ghos-
im sorry lucas i really didnt mean to
what if u had an identical twin that did porn and u like went to the grocery and theyre like “omg i saw u take 3 dicks at once while wearing a turtle costume” and ur like “god dammit gary”
I downloaded this mod because I thought it’d be funny, but it’s actually really terrifying in action, especially in conjunction with some immersion/difficulty mods. You’ll be in the midst of a quest, going off to kill some evil guy or save some jerk, fighting off some baddies when ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU HEAR THIS SARCASTIC SOUNDING CHEERY MUSIC AND HEAR THE DEMONIC TOOT TOOT OF A TRAIN AND YOU LOOK IN THE SKY BUT YOU CAN’T SEE WHERE IT IS AND THE TOOT TOOT GETS LOUDER AND YOU KNOW IT’S CLOSER BUT YOU STILL CAN’T FIND IT AND THEN A STREAM OF TRAIN FIRE SHOOTS FROM BEHIND YOU AND YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD
oh my god. thomas just fucking ollieing out into the goddamn sky
we have all read fanfiction that we shouldn’t have
I just attended the best passion of the Christ play. As they were “nailing” Jesus to the cross the entire thing broke. No one knew what to do and it got quiet. Finally one of the guards on stage said “You get out of it this time Jesus”